Listening to:For Joy by ETWC
Verse Love: He must increase, but I must decrease. //John 3:30//
 |
| Loving palm trees lately. |
It’s
two in the morning. And I’m drinking the most fantastic cup of coffee. EVER.
Why am I drinking this cup of coffee at two in the morning? HAVE YOU BEEN
LISTENING TO ANYTHING I’VE SAID?! Ok, sorry. I’m hyper. But seriously, it’s
fannnntastic. Even though this new trend my body is going through…the whole
sleeping for two hours and drinking four cups of coffee trend…is probably my
least favorite. Since I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since idontknowwhen, I
figure I might as well use these hours to be productive.
And by,
“be productive,” I clearly mean painting my nails and singing along REALLY loud
to Enter the Worship Cirlce. Because how can you help but paint your nails when
your nail polish is mint (mint is the equivalent of sunshine) and ETWC is
cranking out lyrics like such:
Those who put their hope in You will never be turned away // Those who place their trust in You will never be put to shame // I am waiting here for You // To hear You speak my name
I want to start over now // Hear me
God, I’m calling out for mercy // Your sweet forgetfulness // O, Mercy pull a
blanket over me again // Mercy, You cover all of my sin // I don’t ever want to
break Your heart again
Surely those who wait on You will
never be ashamed // All those who call on You will know the faithfulness of
Your Name
Who am I that you would know my
name // Know my deepest parts // And love me just the same // Who am I that you
would sing a song about me
WORD.
About a month ago, I declared to
people far and near that this summer has been my favorite. I am excluding the past three weeks from that
declaration. Because it is my declaration, and I can do with it whatever I
please. So. There. It’s been a humdinger {My Papa would be SO proud of me for
using that word by the way} of a month.
When you’re faced with college
issues, impossible situations, finding out that sickness is stealing away a
loved one, sleepless nights, long days, seeing people that you love in pain, confusion,
the need for patience, being reminded of how very hurt the world is, endless
a-sexual to-do lists that multiply like rabbits, and just plain exhaustion it’s hard to press
on. And that’s when I’ve found that Praise God, grace abounds:
And God is able to make all grace
abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. // 2
Corinthians 2:9 //
Not gonna lie. I’ve kind of wanted
to eat 2 Corinthians lately. It’s just so good. God will provide all I need. And according to my pastor
for the last several weeks, “all means all,”
It doesn’t mean that these problems are going to disappear…I still have to
endure another college advisor tomorrow. I still have to deal with the
realization that my loved one won’t be here much longer. People I love are
still hurting and I can’t stop it, I probably won’t sleep but a mere two hours
tonight. This week will most likely be just as long as the last one. My sister
will undoubtedly catch a glimpse of my to-do list and ask me again why the
heck, “eat,” is written down. But these things – they don’t compare to the joy
of having a God that’s always close by. In the midst of all these things, He’s
fueling my heart with joyicantexplain.
I’ve decided to start a “grace is,”
theme in my journal. So every time God gifts me with another grace (they’re
always so darn creative) I shall write it down. So I can look back and
remember. Because I never want to forget His hands.
Over the past three weeks, grace
is:
Good
coffee
Pink conditioner. Seriously guys, I
don’t think there is anything more exciting than pink conditioner? Actually, I’m pretty sure mint conditioner would
reign supreme. I’m having obsession issues. Big time.
Roaming
your house in a towel robe trying to accomplish millions of things and catching
a glimpse of yourself; your wild hair, your crazed haven’t-slept-in-days eyes,
your smeared mascara and busting out
laughing because all you can do is say, “And THAT eees a crazy lady!” in your
best Nacho Libre accent.
Friends
who have no idea that you’re overcome with feelings of inadequacy, who speak sweet, sweet truth into your life that
emboldens you while playing with your ponytail and patting your shoulder.
Telling your clinical director that
you considered going to missionary school and he leans forward all sincere-like
and says, “Oh! So you wanted to be a nun?”
Hearing your friend’s son proclaim
that he is, “Dr. Octavius!!!” first thing in the morning.
Being allowed the privilege of
showing God’s love to someone who needs it.
Seriously. The list goes on. But
alas! It is now three in the morning. Good. Grief.
Truth be told, I’m merely
procrastinating creating a financial plan for the fall when school starts. So.
What. I never, never, ever claimed to be perfect. And I hate finances. But I
loooove Jesus. :) And that’s what matters right?
It doesn’t matter that I am not at
my ideal weight. Or that I still cry when I have to get shots. Neither does the
fact that I have to learn and re-learn and re-learn the same lessons over and
again. Come to think of it, my fears don’t either. Nor, my hate for everything
responsible. And finances. Praise God,
grace covers it all.
Let’s get real, though.{I say this
as though ^all that wasn’t crazy real?}
I’m thinking it’s time to buy some fancy waterproof mascara. That, or
cease wearing it altogether. Because life…life is a real tear-jerker. And if
it’s not one thing, it will be another. But you know, I’ve decided I really
wouldn’t take a life of ease over having to depend heavily on the presence of
God to keep me sane. His nearness is just too incredible. Incredible, and
sweet.
Holy Nutella! It’s late and I had planned on getting out of bed at eight to clean. Wish me luck! ;)
"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you." //2 Corinthians (!!!) 13:14//
~Kimberly
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